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Something I felt before

Love is passion and pain,

Love with hatred has no gain,

Driving me insane,

No one else is to blame,

I cry and scream,

Who can I go to?

I want you to be mine, 

I call no one else’s line, 

I’m blind,

Hurt by the past I am in denial, 

Fix my heart,

Fix my worries, 

All this upset gets me… 

I breathe,

Waiting for all of my emotions to come out from underneath, 

I’m steel,

Hard and broken,

Who can help me heal?

No one will love me to the point of comfort and safety you gave me, 

I weep,

Belief in God is a disbelief, 

I believe in love but it hurts me to heal,

A baby, no marriage all in a hurry, 

Young and foolish we need to be quick, 

Fix this mess but lose love that was once beauty, 

Beauty destroyed, 

Growth numbed, 

U gave me luxury and it wasn’t fun to me, 

I guess I needed someone else’s company, 

I’m sorry,

I did love thee, 

Only time will tell,

It came too late,

I miss thee company, 

I fle’ed,

I ran to the arms of fun and greed, 

What’s fun to me? 

Drugs and wreck-less it broke me, 

I need... 

you when I thought I just needed me, 

Never too late they say? 

It’s a lie beneath misery, 

Confusing a tale of deceit, 

Not like one a child’s mother would bare to  sneeze, 

Grown now but not grown enough, 

Where will life take me?

I wonder while families starve and the communities cry,

I have everything but still feel nothing,

Where should I be, 

Tell me and I will go to,

Who I’m meant to be,

Where should I go while children are crying globally, 

I should feel blessed,

I am dressed in the best compared to families who are penniless,

Ungrateful yet still I try to be helpful,

To be a better person I try, 

I hope I make it that far,

Money, riches, success I try to reach, 

Loved ones, 

Try to impress,

Proud mother I hope someday you will see,

I try to make u happy for the person I try to be,

Nonetheless I continue to get depressed,

A day of love I sleep and feel rough, 

It’s confusing,

Life could be more abusing, 

I guess I should carry on loving it doesn’t matter what I’m losing, 

I’ll get there someday,

I pray to feel love again, 

Make the rain fulfil your daily pain,

Remember those who will never walk a day, 

Because feeling this way gives me some kind of shame,

I can’t help it, 

Maybe someday it will go away.

Written by Tamay Nehir

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Tamay Nehir